new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
