You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
They took my balls.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
