Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
