I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
