the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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