Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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