i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
