he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
