I have demons in me.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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