I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
