what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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