maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
