some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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