there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
