I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
