she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
