Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
