we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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