We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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