i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Your penis caused this!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
