nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
