11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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