Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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