I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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