You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
