Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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