i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
