i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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