You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
