K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
