alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
