I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
