But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
