the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
