she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
