I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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