I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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