I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
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