Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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