nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
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he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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