We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
