i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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