Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
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My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.