Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.