I feel like abortions should bother me more
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
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thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.