There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"