woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
