That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
