Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
