No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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