Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
