Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
