You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
