i barfeds in our rink
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
