So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
