In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
